A perfectly imperfect year

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As I write this blog post, instead of sitting in my usual spot, the office at home, I thought I would continue the festive mood by sitting by the Christmas tree with it’s beautiful twinkling lights whilst drinking a cup of tea and a mince pie. You cannot get more festive than this!

Christmas is a time of year conjures up a mixture of thoughts and feelings, it is also a season of familiarity, full of traditions and not to mention an endless to do list. Whilst most soak up the atmosphere of the festive season, one thing that people think of, yet often forget to do is reflect upon the year that we are about to leave behind; sometimes we just need to take stock amongst the overflowing preparations to organise ourselves for the fresh year that awaits.

I am certain that we can all agree that resolutions are temporary and mostly ineffective (sorry diets and gym memberships!); reflective practice has a much higher success rate and is sustainable for the long term, by being more contemplative and positive rather than focussing on the negative aspects of life, we are able to truly achieve happiness in both our personal and professional lives. This may not be new information, nor will it be surprising, but by taking time to reflect on the year gone by, we are able to be better prepared for the new year.

We live in a world of perfect idealisms, and there seems to be ever increasing pressure on our lives, but over the past few months I have embraced self-reflection techniques, and by doing so, I have been able to see the benefits of getting comfortable with who I am, purely by bringing it back to the simple things that really matter. These days, there is too much emphasis upon socially acceptable “norms”, or we worry unnecessarily about what people think of us; this led to a very important decision and I simply said to myself one day “I am enough”, and so I began to adopt reflective practices.

To be thirteen years into my professional HR career and only just uncover the benefits of self-reflection could be seen as embarrassing, but by being allowing myself to be vulnerable and actually taking the time to practice what I preach, it really shows that we never stop learning and that it is never too late to start.

Reflection is such a powerful tool, yet it is often overlooked or taken for granted. It provides an opportunity to look deeper at who we are, whilst learning from our experiences, by doing this we can not only become the best version of ourselves and embracing what makes us unique, but also acknowledge that we don’t want to change who we are as individuals, but by undertaking positive self-reflection, it also allows us to see ourselves as we are now so we can develop for the future.

When we reflect, we may notice that it is easy to see the negative aspects within our circumstances such as blaming other people or pick faults, I often hear the terms “I can’t” and “I’m not good enough for…” this only leads us to believe these phrases which impact upon our confidence levels for the long term. Reflection is not about identifying faults within ourselves, our views of these external aspects are actually directing us to look inwards, by what we see on the outside is a reflection of what we may find in ourselves. I must stress that self- loathing is not ok; no matter what your opinion is of yourself, this blog was created to help people recognise that there is hope irrespective of circumstances. We must acknowledge when we are being too harshly critical of ourselves as the long term effects can be difficult to resolve.

By recognising that these thoughts and feelings are of our own creation, we can begin to understand them and that is when the magic starts to happen!

Reflecting upon our thoughts, feelings, motivations and behaviours is not a tool designed to make harsh criticisms or judgments, it is simply to recognise it so we can learn and develop so that it becomes a positive practice rather than allow our problems and worries to control us. Reflective practice is the key to becoming accepting ourselves, but it can be a painful process, especially when we seek solutions to our everyday worries. It is important to remember that it takes time; when we were children, we couldn’t ride a bicycle right away, it took time, patience and many hours of practice. It’s also important to be mindful that there are no short cuts to those worthwhile destinations.

Remember to value self-awareness; it is really wonderful when you discover more about yourself and it is incredibly powerful to understand who you are, why you do things as well as clarity of your personality, emotions, strengths, weaknesses, beliefs and motivations.

To be able to adopt reflective practice, we need to be willing and truly believe that we are enough. From this you can then begin to make positive changes, encourage ourselves to truly understand our purpose and even if this isn’t your cup of tea, you’d be surprised at the results when you start using these tools.

So, my message to you all for 2019 is simply, embrace your uniqueness, ignore that voice in your head that says, “you can’t” and realise that you are the master of your own destiny. 2018 taught me personally that life is too short, it’s time to make 2019 your very best year.

Remember, that we cannot change the past or what we have done, but what we can do is take steps to positively influence the future.

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