Today’s post is particularly personal to me; it is often said that we can forgive and we don’t necessarily forget, well this I can relate to and is true. I can honestly say that this is one of the most difficult posts I have ever written, but I now feel strong enough to be able to finally talk about it.
When I was in my twenties, I met someone who influenced so many aspects of my life, some were for the better such as how I shaped my career; but others were not so good such as how relationships are not supposed to be.
You may ask why is this relevant to the world of HR; these are life lessons that can impact us for the long term, in my situation, it was my sense of self worth and confidence levels. It’s safe to say that at that point in my career, I was in a job I didn’t enjoy nor was I in the career I wanted.
Inevitably, the relationship ended, badly. I lost everything I had, not only that person but my home, my friends (who turned out not to be real friends at all) and I ended back up at my parents. The next day after a lot of tears and a good night’s sleep, I called my employer and quit my job; at that point I thought that there was nothing left to lose and so I used my savings to support myself and I decided to take the opportunity for a fresh start, and pursue my dream job in HR, I landed a role at Woolworths Group three weeks later and the rest is history!
Irrespective of how someone has hurt you, whether that is personally or professionally; one thing I had to face was if I could forgive that person for what they had done. By forgiving them, you are able to let go of those grievances and judgements that you may have, which will allow you to heal and move on. I must be clear that forgiveness is not allowing acceptance of their behaviour, it is in fact a way of accepting what has happened and helping you to move on.
Forgiveness is a gradual process, it doesn’t happen overnight, so my advice to anyone who may be in this position is to be patient, take your time to digest what has happened but don’t let it take over you as the effects can take years to repair (I found this out the hard way). Remember, you are stronger than you think.
The lessons the experience taught me is how to handle some of the most challenging aspects of all areas of my life and whilst I have managed to forgive that person, at the same time I am grateful that they taught me a lot about my own capabilities, resilience and determination. More importantly, I now know my self worth and the importance of family as without them, I wouldn’t have got through it all.
The reason I have decided to share this is because at this time of year, so many people have disagreements, may say things that they don’t mean and this can cause a huge amount of stress and impact upon our wellbeing. Also if this helps just one person then HR acts of kindness has done what is was created to do. Whatever happens at any stage of your life, we can always remain kind to ourselves and those around us.
Natalie Ellis HR 